Last 15 posts from Dampf's modelling page

The Todoroni Regiment – part six

Posted on April 21st, 2015 under , , . Posted by

Painting is progressing, although it is a little slower than I would like. I put this down to two reasons, first, I am working on a couple of other projects at the moment and secondly, I am still not certain about the Purple. I can see me re-painting t…

Foul Mouth Freddy Fools the ****ing Ferach

Posted on April 20th, 2015 under , , . Posted by

Illustration by Edward Jackson
Foul Mouth Freddy Fools the ****ing Ferach
by Tony Harwood
Foul Mouth Freddy returns in this cracking tale involving a small group of inexperienced Orcs going up against a full section of Ferach with only Freddy’s bl**dy brilliant plan between them and a horrid death. May Sentinel help them all.
Throughout the land of Algarvey there are few landmarks as well know as the Tower of Badlan. A huge red structure that guards the two main roads into and out of the sea port town of Jaree. In days longs past the tower was reputed to have mystical powers, but in this more enlightened time of Black Powder and the reign of Kyng Gorge, ideas of magick and mysticism are treated with much disdain and contempt.
The tower itself is situated just off a fork in the road near Jaree. The main road comes out of Jaree from the West and continues East towards the main built up areas of Murian, crossing a large bridge that spans the river. A second and lesser trod road meanders North-East through small hamlets and steep valleys following the course of the river continuing towards lush farmland to the East and far off valleys full of vineyards to the North.
Originally built as a fortified toll house the tower is tall enough to see in all directions thus protecting both the main trade routes and the river crossing. In times gone by a toll of one groat was levied on all travellers who passed by and due to the diligence of the tollhouse keeper and a small armed force he retained using the monies generated, the roads around Jaree remained clear and safe.
The tower’s nick name, Black Jack’s Tower, came about a short time after the Mordredian wars began. The original tollhouse keeper and his unit did not stay in the tower after the Annulment of Wylde Magick for reasons history does not know but, soon after, a new keeper took up residence. An Ostarian by the name of Jaques. Jaques was a huge black Pyrenean mountain dog, an ex-soldier of the Ostarian Army. He was very good at his job and over time the people of Jaree grew to know Jaques who, despite him being a heavy drinker, was fondly thought of by all for his many acts of heroism. It was said that Jaques had saved the lives of over a dozen townsfolk who (either by design or accident) had fallen in to the river. Black Jack, as he became known, is sadly long gone, but is remembered to this day with a stone cairn next to the tower and a small plaque detailing his many rescues.
Now, as our story begins, the tower lies empty and the roads are a lot less safe for travellers to Jaree.
Foul Mouth Freddy (our titular anti hero), Mad Micky Hooligan (a Guinelean Bog Orc of very average stature) and Kenny (a banjo playing Orc of Albion with a mouth only just a hint sweeter than Freddy’s) found themselves travelling south along the river towards Jaree to take part in an inter-regimental game of Kricket. A popular Albion sport involving smacking a grenade with the stock of an old Flintloque and seeing whose white flannel trousers could get stained the most. Catches and being stumped also had a part to play in traditional Kricket – but as you were only ever stumped once (a very very painful procedure indeed) this rule lapsed somewhat. Similarly, the unofficial (but remarkably popular with players and spectators alike) practice of tossing live and lit grenades at the batsmen has also all but disappeared. It was seen as ’just not Kricket’.

In preparation for the big game the three stalwarts of the Grand Alliance were transporting a wagon full of old flintloques and a couple of boxes of old grenades. As a lot of Freddy, Micky and Kenny’s time on the journey had been taken up by drinking and singing luckily, for the Kricket supplies, they were also accompanied by a handful of very raw Orc recruits and a Dwarven wagon master, Viragio, who had himself seen a bit of action during the Dwarf Sauerkraut Wars.

As they neared the area of Black Jack’s tower, Freddy spied a group of Ferach Elves approaching from the other side of the bridge seemingly heading for the tower. Bugger, he thought, there was a ****ed sight more of them than there was of him and his lot. He quickly realised he had three possible choices; One, Stand, fight and most likely die against impossible odds. No. Anyone who knew Freddy, knew that this was simply not an option! Second, run away and try to explain things to the the Provosts. Very very tempting, thought Freddy, but sadly he had to discard this idea as he was already in trouble on bullying charges (which were completely untrue, those bl**dy stunties were drunk on Krolsberg and injured by chance, it had nothing to do with the way he rigged the gun or the resulting ****ing big explosion). Thirdly, he could try to outwit the Ferach using all of the means at his disposal. Now that sounds like an idea worthy of our ****ing Freddy.
The basis of a plan forming just behind his eyes Freddy immediately took charge of what his military mind had already laughingly labelled his section.
He waved at his Guinelean colleague, “Oi Mickey, ****ing unload those bl**dy flintloques and be ****ing quick about it !”
Turning to the banjo playing Orc he pointed in the direction of the tower, “Kenny, ****ing get up there and start ****ing lighting that ****ing beacon and get rid of that *****ing wagon whilst you’re at it.
Last but by no means least he turned to Viragio, a smile forming on his lips. “Oi stunty!” he bellowed loudly, Viragio’s hearing not being what it once was. “Get over ‘ere. Now then, ‘ere’s what I want you to do.”
As Freddy loudly laid out his plan, Viragio’s face grew paler, scant minutes later Freddy had finished the briefing.
“**** me”, replied the Dwarf. “That might just work.”
Scenario Forces
Freddy’s Boys
Foul Mouth Freddy (Section Leader)
Mad Micky Hooligan (Section Second)
Ten Raw Orc Regulars
The Ferach
The Ferach are ‘led’ by Miguel Heap-a-Ton. Commonly known by his own forces as “Screaming Miguel Heap-a-Ton, the infantile, Ferach coward”.
Miguel Heap-a-Ton (Section Leader)
For the Ferach you can create your own section for Heap-a-Ton to command using the standard rules or simply use the pre-generated sections in the rulebooks (Captain la Grande’s Section: Flintloque: WIC, p.55; Sergeant Fontrelle’s Section: Flintloque: DITS, p.53) swapping out the Section Leader for Heap-a-Ton and using two of every non command figure to make a double sized unit.
Map and Set Up
The table should be setup as described in the opening story with a road running East-West and a river running North-South. About a third in from the East edge the tower should be placed and another, slightly smaller, road should branch off from here and follow the course of the river to the North. There should be a stone bridge where the road crosses the river. The stone bridge’s Western edge should be no more than 60cm from the tower allowing the Orcs to fire at anyone who moves onto it. The river cannot be forded due to the strong currents. To make the gaming area more playable some scrub, trees and natural earthworks should be randomly placed on the table.
The tower has three floors in total (ground, first and roof). For the tower interior 28mm floorplans can be placed just off table to show the positions of the Orcs (and the Elves when they get there).
Freddy’s player can place Mickey and the Orc Redcoats anywhere on the ground or first floors. Kenny starts the game on the roof next to the beacon. Freddy himself starts the game anywhere in the tower.
The Ferach can be placed anywhere to the West of the bridge. The Ferach player should also place Viragio no more than 5cm from Heap-a-Ton.
Scenario Objectives & Game Length
Freddy and his ‘section’ must survive until the relief cavalry from the garrison at Jaree arrive.
The Elves have actually been sent to retrieve the relics of Black Jack, an old Ostarian helmet and uniform pinned to the wall inside the ground floor of the Tower. The Ferach commander, Miguel Heap-a-Ton, believes his troops are invincible and have weight of numbers on their side. Upon seeing the Orcs Miguel went (as he was wont to do) into a screaming rage, he must killed the damned Orcs and get the damned relics and prove to his superiors that he is more than just a screamer!
Special Rules
Stalling the Ferach – Viragio has been sent to intercept the Ferach under a white flag of truce. In fact this is complete ******ks, as Viragio is more than a tad deaf and doesn’t really speak Ferach at all. Freddy wants the grizzled Dwarf to delay the pointy eared ******ds as long as possible so he can get as many muskets as possible pre-loaded to blow the ******d Ferach straight to Haydes. Each turn make an opposed roll verses the Ferach player with a modifier of +5 for Viragio’s first roll, +4 for his second, +3 for his third etc. The Ferach cannot make any actions until they win the roll or if a blackpowder weapon is discharged anywhere on the table or if they see any figures approach from the tower.
The Musket Pile – Micky and the Redcoats have hidden the wagon and carried all the old muskets into the tower. Each turn each Redcoat can forsake making any move/attack actions and reload one rifle and add it to ‘the pile’. e.g. on Turn 1 the 10 Redcoats reload 10 muskets etc. They can continue this until the Ferach have activated, they choose to stop or (if Viragio does his job amazingly well) until all 98 functional rifles are reloaded. After these reloads are complete the Orc player places each of the Redcoats at one of the windows in the tower. During play each Redcoat can fire every turn without reloading as they are passed a loaded musket by Mickey. These muskets, due to their age, Misfire if doubles are rolled on the firing roll whether successful or not.The unfortunate Orc firing the musket receives a Hit token and a Shaken token.
The Grenades – Freddy has not been lazy whilst Mickey and the boys loaded the muskets and Kenny clambered up to the roof. He has been through the bl**dy grenades and found five which he ‘thinks’ will work as their bl**dy maker intended. They are treated as per the normal rules for Orc Grenadier Bombes. However, they too have a chance of malfunctioning. When throwing (the firing roll) on a doubles roll the grenade goes off in Freddy’s hand… perhaps he should get a bl**dy Redcoat to throw the bl**dy things…
Lighting the Beacon - Kenny has been tasked with lighting the ****ing beacon. What Freddy did not ****ing mention is that the ****ing beacon has not been lit in Sentinel knows how many years and the ****ing wood stock pile he’s supposed to light is *****ing riddled with mould and damp. Each turn Kenny (or any other character) may attempt to light the beacon as a Special Action. To simulate the difficulty in lighting it roll 1D10 and add the number of the current turn, on a roll of 10 or more the beacon catches light. Once lit the Elves know that help is on the way and suffer a -1 Steady penalty in additional to any normal modifiers.
The Cavalry Arrives – After the beacon is lit roll 1D10, this is how many turns it will take the forces from Jaree to come to Freddy’s aid.
Expanding the Scenario
You could play out what happens when the reinforcements arrive, changing the goal of the Ferach to one of escape once the forces arrive on the table.
You could also run this scenario with a little tweaking as a Darkestorme scenario before the Annulment of Wylde Magick. Swap Dwarfs for Orcs and crossbows for muskets, change the Ferach into a Wood Elf raiding party with their hatred for the unnatural construction being their primary motive.
Author’s Note
As a very young boy my father would tell stories about the Tower, a red brick-built landmark on the outskirts of Swansea (now a restaurant and next to the Amazon Book Distribution Centre) and also next to the grounds where Uncle Freddy and Dad would play cricket for Mettoys (the Corgi cars factory which was based in Fforestfach, Swansea) – The stories would require that Freddy, Dad and the rest of the cricket team held of a whole motorised platoon of fully armed Germans (and tanks) with nothing more than a couple of cricket bats and a set of stumps – Oh those stories! Now that’s a childhood recollection to be proud of.
Black Jack is based on Swansea Jack, more details can be found on Wikipedia here.
Foul Mouth Freddy Fools the ****ing Ferach was originally written by me for Orcs in the Webbe in December 2011. It is the second FMF story in the very long series. for more you can go to this link.
It is my intention to include all of the Foul Mouth Freddy stories on my Blog over the next year.

Building Number Three – part two

Posted on April 19th, 2015 under , , . Posted by

The title is a little cryptic, but see this earlier post for details. The thatched and timber hovel has had some additional work done to it, but the main changes since the earlier post have been the addition of ‘clutter’. Loads of it.It is my…

The Todoroni Regiment – part five

Posted on April 18th, 2015 under , , . Posted by

Painting is progressing slowly. I have chosen a colour scheme of White uniform with Grey breeches and Purple cuffs. Purple is not a colour I use that often and I have found it a difficult colour to get right. In my eyes it looks a little drab.The Bicor…

One and Two are OK but not number Three!

Posted on April 17th, 2015 under , . Posted by

Over the last couple of months I have been working on a brand new commission, modelling a range of themed buildings for a new miniature game. Full details will have to wait until nearer the launch date but I have now completed three buildings.The first…

Foul Mouth Freddy Spikes the ****ing Gun – a short story and gaming scenario

Posted on April 16th, 2015 under , . Posted by

Illustration by Edward Jackson
Foul Mouth Freddy Spikes the ****ing Gun
A short story and Flintloque scenario by Tony Harwood

After years of training, all those dirty tricks and spending a fortune on bribes, where do I end up? Right here in the ass rump of Urop trying to make sense of these silly accents and acting as a military observer to the best troops that Krautia can offer. Up-Starts, more like bloody Down-Starts. The sausage eating, sauerkraut smelling, weak beer soaked stunties! Well that’s the official line. Truth is I should never have allowed my bloody mouth to start rolling, before I had even seen where the conversation was heading! It could, by some, also have been considered a mistake to have been caught with my pants down while educating the Governors youngest daughter in how to smoke pipeweed.
So, ‘ere I am in this tiny bloody hamlet on the outskirts of the known world. Sitting in a stinking shell hole no less. Trying to re-kindle my bloody career as a full-time soldier of Is Most ‘Onourable ‘Ighness Georgie-bloody-Porgie.
All this would be worth it if we could somehow stop the constant bombardment from the heights to our North-West. It’s the fourth day that that bloody huge gun has pummelled us with shell fire. Someone aught to do something! Ah well, back to staring at the stunties…
Later that evening when the bombardment curiously stopped, “Foul-mouth” Freddy was intrigued enough to ask one of his height-disadvantaged colleagues why he could no longer hear the bombardment. Had the shooting actually stopped? “Vat is easy – mein ‘ear, zis evening is a national Finklestein holiday and de gun crews vill be drinking Krolsberg for the next couple of ‘ours”.
Before long a master-full plan took shape and Freddy, with his usual aplomb and hundreds of blasphemies, soon pulled a group of seven Dwarves together and set off in the direction of the now set sun. His plan was simple – it would have to be as communication between the blue-mouthed Orc and the naive Dwarves meant that speed and surprise would be of the utmost essence.
Freddys plan went something like this;
“We ******** Sneak up under ******* cover of ********* night to that ****-****, ******** excuse for a ****-infested cottage and when it gets ******** dark enough to hide a ******* ********** ********** goat we scarper across the ******* ground and ******* knobble that gun! Simple – In-it.”
Simple – Not quite. The Finklestein lines are still patrolled and then there’s the small problem of Dwarves and Beer! What Dwarf could resist the lure of of ice cold Krolsberg. In fact, unbeknownst to Freddy, that’s why the usually demure and peace loving Dwarves agreed to go along with the silly plan in the first place.
Scenario Forces
Foul-Mouth Freddy, an experienced Orc Sergeant, is trying to lead the group of seven Dwarves from the derelict cottage across dangerously open ground to the gun. The Dwarves consist of one young officer called Ubert von Trots and six battle-hardened (and very thirsty) Dwarf Rifles. Once at the gun Freddy is experienced enough to either ‘spike the gun’ or set off enough black powder to disable it.
Foul-Mouth Freddy / Experienced
Brawler / Nerves of Steel / Thick Red Line / Foul Temper
Bakur Rifle / Sword
The Dwarf Officer Ubert sees this whole scheme as a way of ‘making-up’ for his past mistakes – particularly that time when he… Oh never mind, it should stop the other Dwarves calling him names and dying their overall brown in recognition of that unfortunate time he was caught short! This will show them. They will remember Trots for something other than silly latrine jokes and tasteless scribbling on the walls of the wash-house! All the Dwarves are armed with Standard Rifles and carry Knives.
There are only ten unlucky Dwarves defending the gun emplacement, they were chosen by lot to miss this years celebrations. They are all armed with Standard Muskets, fixed with Bayonets.
Map and Setup
There is no map for this scenario. A 4ft x 4ft table should be setup with a seriously well built gun emplacement containing (somewhat obviously) a really big Gun on the North-West edge. Then place a simple half-ruined cottage eight inches in from the South-West edge. The rest of the ground should be covered with the odd shrub and rough ground, just enough to offer light cover, but not enough to act as a real barricade!
Freddy and the Dwarves start the game hiding in the cottage.
The defenders should be spread out randomly in and around the gun emplacement.
There should also be twelve barrels on the board representing the Krolsberg supplies the defending Dwarves have left lying around in thier rush to set things up for the holiday celebrations.
Scenario Objectives
The objective is for Freddy to disable the ******* gun and still get back to the cover of the ******* **** cottage. Freddy is not too worried about the ultimate fate of the ******* Stunties!
Ubert’s objective is to support Freddy in getting the gun disabled and ensuring that his brave lads are treated as heroes when they return home.
The six Dwarves will see the destruction of the gun as a minor victory, but a barrel of fine Krolsberg as a major victory.
The defenders would see the gun intact at the end of the game as a victory.
Special Rules
The only character controlled by you directly is Freddy. He is effectively his own section, Ubert’s Dwarves should dice for initiative as normal.
Ubert and his Dwarves are, once things kick off, controlled using the Solo Rules on page 89 of Flintloque – War in Catalucia (5025) using the Neutral results on the Solo Aggression Table. However, until the defenders are aware of Ubert’s Dwarves they will all make a Slow March move towards the gun emplacement each turn.
The defenders are not expecting an attack, attacking a defensive position like this would be unthinkable especially with the holiday celebrations going on. To represent this the following rules are used. Each defender does not move each turn (unless indicated in the table below) and has a visibility zone of 5cm. Any movement at Slow March (or slower) outside of these zones is not seen or noticed.
Every turn before moving Freddy or Ubert’s Dwarves, roll 1D10 and consult the following table to see if they make a mistake in the dark:
Die Roll: Result
1-4: Nothing happens.
5: Someone trips over a rock and curses. Every defender becomes alert and extends their visibility zone to 15cm.
6: One of Ubert’s Dwarves gets lost and wanders off in a random direction (select randomly and roll a D12 and use the clock method).
7: The closest defending Dwarf to the attacking party gets nervous and moves D6 toward them.
8: The defending Dwarves’ commander starts his rounds, he moves clockwise around the outpost at Slow March. Each sentry, eager to appear alert extends his visibility zone by 5cm.
9: One of Ubert’s Dwarves develops a sudden allergy to his uniform and sneezes uncontrollably. All defenders become alerted and extend their visibility zone to 20cm.
10: One of the attacking party suffers a negligent discharge, turn out the guard!
Once one of Ubert’s Dwarves (or Freddy) moves into a visibility zone (or rolling a 10 on the above table) the defenders sound the alarm, they are from then on controlled using the Solo Rules using the Defensive results on the Solo Aggression Table.
Making things more difficult for Freddy is the Krolsberg scattered around the board. If one of Ubert’s Dwarves is activated within 18cm of a barrel of Krolsberg then there is a 50% chance it will, as it’s move make a Double March move. Once there they crack open the keg and are considered out of the game (although they can still be used as cover).
Author’s Notes
Even though not in War in Catalucia full stats for the Dwarves can be found in the Flintloque Racial Tables which can be downloaded from the files Alternative Armies official Flintloque Yahoo Group, the Notable Members.
A good tactic for Freddy is to use Ubert’s Dwarves as cover to get near the gun emplacement, don’t forget he doesn’t care about ****ing Stunties!
The rules for visibility zones were adapted from Marc Bacon’s excellent Flintloque scenario, Behind Enemy Lines.
It has long been my intention to include the Foul Mouth Freddy stories on my Blog. They are currently housed on the Orcs in the Webbe site hosted by Craig Andrews for full details go to this link.
Foul Mouth Freddy Spikes the ****in Gun was the first short story published back in 2009. I hope you enjoy these re-runs.

The Adventures of Gerard by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Posted on April 15th, 2015 under , . Posted by

My latest charity shop find. The Adventures of Gerard by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. The book was found in a charity shop in Evesham and bought for £1.00.

I have read most of the Brigadier Gerard short stories – having borrowed a book from the library some years ago, I now own a copy and although the condition is not great, all the pages are intact and easily readable.

For anyone not familiar with these adventures, the Brigadier is the bravest of French Napoleonic officers, the idol of the ladies and the imperturbable egoist. His adventure often comical are great fun and a superb inspiration for Flintloque adventures. See this Wiki link for more information.

Adventures of Gerard by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Published by PAN Books in 1949
list price 2/- (10p)


The Todoroni Regiment – part four

Posted on April 14th, 2015 under , , . Posted by

Another short post – the ‘flesh’ areas have been painted green. Starting with a dark Forest Green base colour and highlighting through Mid Green to a Leaf Green colour.The Black areas have been tidied up with Vallejo Black, which for some reason appear…

Military Modelling – the latest Collectors Edition

Posted on April 13th, 2015 under , . Posted by

Each year for my birthday, my Mother sends me a voucher for WH Smiths (the UK magazine and book retailer) which allows me to treat myself to modelling magazines for the remainder of the year. This year my first purchase using this voucher is the Military Modelling Collectors’ Edition eighteen – Military Vehicle Special (April 2015).

For anyone not familiar with these ‘specials’, the magazines are collections of articles which seem more in-depth and detailed than the ones in the regular magazine and are usually ‘themed’ for example AFV’s, Military Figures etc. This edition – Military Vehicles.

The 100 page, Gold Topped magazines are a real treat and appear about twice or three times a year, so look out for them (or search e-bay). I have at least half a dozen of the eighteen and prize every one of them. For details of the contents, please go to this link.

As with the earlier editions, this is a magazine to enjoy slowly and I like to savour each article from front-to back, one a day over a week or so. I particularly enjoyed the Schneider CA. 1 article by Steve Zaloga, although why anyone would spend so much time and effort detailing the under-carriage of this tank, when none of it can be seen is a mystery to me;)

Moving on the next article by Christopher McGrane – Hors de L’Action is one of those ‘jaw-dropping’ models and dioramas that are such a feature of these magazines. A truly breathtaking model of another French tank – a Char 2C which has been sabotaged by it’s own crew!

Two more articles of note are the Chruchill Mk.III Tank model constructed by Steve Guthrie in 1/72nd scale, which goes to show just how much detailing you can include in a model in this scale and the Russian GAZ truck by Mario Eens, a master-craft in how to paint green vehicles.

As you can no doubt tell, I have enjoyed each and every article, even the adverts, which have highlighted some new-to-me products, products and books that I am so tempted to buy.

The magazine is currently on sale in WH Smiths for £4.99 and in my opinion worth every penny.

Thank you Mum XXX


The Todoroni Regiment – part three

Posted on April 10th, 2015 under , , . Posted by

Not much to see. The eight Alternative Armies Todaroni have been undercoated with spray paint Black and any missed areas touched in with Chaos Black from Games Workshop.I like to get a good all-over undercoat prior to starting the painting proper.Tony

The Todoroni Regiment – part two

Posted on April 9th, 2015 under , , . Posted by

I have mounted each of the Todoroni miniatures onto 2p coins and built up the bases with Milliput Fine White epoxy putty. I like to ‘mimic’ the Alternative Armies/Flintloque bases by adding odd Milliput stones.The bases are further textured by adding s…

Pax Bochemannica

Posted on April 7th, 2015 under . Posted by

Whisper it in hushed tones, but it looks like Pax Bochemannica from Maveryc Games is coming back…….Regular readers will know that I championed this game back in 2013 and even built a couple of themed buildings for the release and wrote some gaming …

Happy Easter

Posted on April 5th, 2015 under . Posted by

Happy Easter to all my followers. This is the fantastic Easter Egg present I had from Sue. Thank you.

While these 12 Narrow Lines magazines were picked up in a charity shop for just £3.00. That’s right £3.00 for all 12. A real bargain. For those of you not familiar with the magazine – Narrow Lines is the association newsletter of the 7mm Narrow Gauge Association.

Full details can be found here. 7mm Narrow Gauge Railways are another one of my modelling passions so these will be a great read for me.

I hope you also have a great Easter Sunday.


Sherlock Holmes and the Liverpool Demon

Posted on April 4th, 2015 under . Posted by

I picked up this graphic novel from the local library the last time I was visiting. It is a typical Holmes adventure and beautifully illustrated. The story has Spring Heel Jack appearing in Liverpool with Holmes and Watson stopping over to see if they …

New On-line Build for April 2015

Posted on April 3rd, 2015 under , . Posted by

This is my first On-line Build for some time. A section of eight Flintloque Toads. For details of this range of figures please go to this link.There are some conversions (as you would expect) – the leader is a modified Vampire with a head swap and…