Link to the Resume in question.
So there’s this big International Event for Warmachine players called the World Team Championship. Ten man teams from different countries compete for glory and chicks. Okay, maybe just the chicks.
The other day, when I should have been grading papers, I submitted my resume for Team USA. I figured, well if Flanzer is going to coach, I’d be the perfect fill-in on the Troll spot!
Unfortunately, my resume doesn’t technically qualify to even be submitted.
I mean, standards. What’s with those?!
So posted for your perusal are the contents of the resume I have helpfully linked to on the Team USA facebook page.
Please share this far and wide. Or maybe half. Far or wide, your choice.
Once you read my resume, you will see why.
Felix Flauta Jr.
Foodmachine at the Dice Dojo. Chicago, IL. December 13, 2014
Warmachine Weekend, Iron Gauntlet Qualifier. St. Louis, MO. November 7, 2014
Earned a first round bye when opponent did not show. Then I totally ducked Jordan Nach in a “wanna play it out” moment.
Later in the tournament I successfully noted that Absylonia the Daughter of Everblight had the spell Teleport. I failed to notice that she had Conferred Rage.
Did not place. Obviously.
Gencon Some Kind of 50 point tournaments. Indianapolis, IN. August 15 or 16, 2014.
Aluminum Gauntlet (Iron Gauntlet practice rounds) at the Dice Dojo. Chicago, IL. August 9, 2014
Masters Qualifier 2 at Adepticon. Lombard, IL. March 20, 2014
Won games because my first opponent tried to make the Hierarch Severius work and my second opponent was borrowing a Griffon spam army and left some Griffons off the table.
Clifton Cline eventually put me in my place by fielding the Hunters Grim against my World Ender. Had a nice Madrak surf moment across the table at Grim, though.
50 pt Steamroller at Games Plus. Mount Prospect, IL. January 25, 2014
After winning my first game I got soundly spanked by three Circle players in a row. Then they beat me in games.
However, Mountain King had an amazing shot at killing Nick Kleeman’s Morvahna the Dawnshadow by eating a dude and Killshotting a 10” spray at her. Would have been bonkers.
50 pt Steamroller at Games Plus. Mount Prospect, IL. November 23, 2013
Last Chance Qualifier at Warmachine Weekend. St. Louis, MO. November 15, 2013
I do my best work with Grissel, Marshal of the Kriels and Jarl Skuld the Devil of the Thornwood.
Of course that means I love playing Hoarluk Doomshaper Shaman of the Gnarls out of tier and Madrak the World Ender.
I also have a converted Grim Angus to look more like his epic form, so I intend to play him more often.
Anything plastic would be fantastic for checking them and just carrying on the heavy metal models.
You know what’s plastic? Fennblades, Scattergunners, Champions, Warders. Dudespams, basically. You know what’s going to be plastic soon? Kriel Warriors.
Did I mention I like Trolls???
Totally botched a game rule running an alternate qualifier at Keith Christensen’s table. A later review showed me the error of my ways.
I’m like Jason Segel in Freaks and Geeks with the 100 piece drum set; I have more painted models than I can actually play with.
Would totally be a good choice to be announced for April Fools.
Alright folks, I’m doing some homework for next week’s Machine Shop. It will be on planning Hobby Resolutions for 2015. How did I do in 2014? Plotting my results for the year it looks like I… Painted 230 Models – 62 Studio Models – 168 Personal Models – 84 Warmachine Models – 46 Infinity Models […]
I love the art for this thing when it was first released. I hated the model. Some putty, resculpting and repositioning later and this heavy son-of-a-gun was walking with his guns actually ranged downfield. He’s been painted in traditional Khador red… as befits Irusk’s personal Warjack. I’ll be bringing him with me to FoodMachine in […]
Basic airbrush basecoats with Militaire Angelic Blood. Details are all old citadel paints.
Finished my min unit of Man O Wat Demo Corps, Drakhun with dismount and War Dog!
…when your wife makes you organize the basement and you find a box of lost Warmachine figs!
Vindictus, Daughters of the Flame, 2 Mules, a Vanguard, Bokur and Buccaneer unearthed from the lead pile!
I knew I had more Warmachine stuff than I’…
Never one to shy away from the massive mountain of unpainted models I’ve collected over the decades, I have entered into another Paint Bet. This time, the Catalyst is the excellent Charity Tournament being held by Buffalo Press Ganger Adam Vogel. I will be attending it to do coverage with Kris and Steve from MiniWarGaming.com. […]
Hey folks! Just a quick note letting you all know I’m looking for opponents to throw down dice in games of Infinity, Warhammer and Warmachine! Standard caveats apply; Games take place at the MiniWarGaming studios here in Welland, Ontario. Armies must be fully painted and based! All comers are welcome and I’m happy to schedule […]
A couple of rules mistakes aside, a great game against Steve!
Played John Christensen (aka Menothjohn) over a year ago. In this second of three games, Strakhov fought the Grand Scrutator.The first part was easy. Cast Occultation (stealth) onto the Black Dragons.Kossites Ambush the Errants and Conquest lays down s…
Note, the above image is an entrant in the Crystal Brush Painting Competition from Adepticon, not mine. I wanted to start a new recurring feature on the site, covering my weekly exploits in gaming. Hopefully this will give you an idea of how my eclectic gaming tastes change week over week and show how some […]
The irregular schedule of irregularity continues rather irregularly.Early in 2013, I traveled up to Milwaukee to play a game against Menoth John of the infamous Ask MenothJohn thread and Painting with Menoth John. I brought the Heavy Armor Battalion an…
Steve Keplinger was a newer player when I brought the Butcher to his Madrak. It’s a crazy infantry shredding game that ends in a rush and a whiff..The Chieftain takes position on the hill with Surefoot supporting his champions. Cleverly, Madrak present…
This was the new angled trench terrain that I wanted to try with 2″ sides. I know I didn’t slope the embankments, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that with anything less than 3-5″ slope to ease the grade of the incline. I play with a lot of heavy…
Supreme Kommandant Irusk had a nice little fight against Kallus.
The Wreck marker on the hill isn’t a wreck, but is probably a heavy warjack of some kind. I can’t remember if this list uses Beast-09 or not. Probably, since he can’t balance on that h…
Jason and I re-did our lists. He fielded Ravyn Eternal Light and I..re-did my Supreme Kommandant standard list.
Fearless and Tough Winterguard Riflemen. Chances are I forgot to activate Kovnik Joe.
The Spriggan puts up some flares to remove stealth from some members of the Strike Force. Boosted Riflemen shots handle the rest from 14" away.
Hyperion and Behemoth stand-off with
Played Jason Young’s Retribution at Games Plus. Irusk brought the Heavy Armor Battalion theme force while Jason brought a Garryth Assassin force. (Not sure if he was in theme).
Note: I do not think these are Kossites. They are probably proxied …
For my last game at Warmachine Weekend, I finally had the courage to bust out my Harkevitch theme force, complete with a Mortar and Field Gun crew.
That’s a friendly wreck marker, folks. That’s right, Harkevitch theme force in the house!
I made a bunch of forest templates for a friend in exchange for conversion work, and I’m still sad to have let them go. Sometime in the future I’ll have to make some more of these for myself.
The Charge of the Horselords theme force bolts across the table with additional SPD on the warjacks and Dash making high armored khador ponies a living wall blocking a zone against the oncoming Cryx force.
Drago makes first strike, clearing the Obje…
Chad is running the following event at the Dice Dojo on February 8:
Chicagoland Games the Dice Dojo 5550 North Broadway Chicago, IL 60640 (773) 728-3656
SR2014 – 50 points – 2 Lists Required, Divide & Conquer 1 (Must play each list once) – Deathclock
Registration – 10:00am Start time – 11:00am Cost – $10Rules: http://files.privateerpress.com/op/sr2014/Steamroller2014Print.pdf
A Dash Cav army vs. the Disciple of Everblight’s warbeast and churn army? Send the cav in, hold the ‘jacks and solos in reserve.
Many people lament the power of warbeasts. Here, however, the warbeasts in Vlad’s backfield are completely hindered …
I was able to get together with my old friend Josh and him being a huge Malifaux junkie, he walked me through my first game. I don’t know enough about the game to give much of a battle report but I was quite taken with it. I played Lady Justice, who is as awesome as […]